Friday 5 June 2015

Stop Using Sexual Assault/Rape As Character Development!


How many times have you read a young adult novel in which the main character, male or female, is trapped in a scenario that involves them fighting somebody off them or away from them sexually? Off the top of your head, you probably can't name any, and yet I am willing to bet that you've read a scene exactly like that. Somebody being pressured into a situation they don't want to be in. Somebody being 'convinced' that what one person wants, they want too. Somebody having to forcibly shout, scream and beg for somebody to stop what they think is acceptable. I've read scenes like these one too many times - it's about time we asked:
Why is sexual assault and rape being used in young adult fiction as 'development'?

Is this really the message we want to send to young readers? That, in order to make it anywhere in life, you have to have been through something horrific and live changing and get through it, develop into somebody different, somebody better, to get somewhere? This message is so so wrong and it breaks my heart and angers me to have to read about these poor characters going through experiences they should never have to.
Let Me Tell You A Story..

When I was 13, I was in a relationship with a guy I really liked, and he was one of the sweetest, most considerate, most, appreciative people I knew. He never once rushed me into anything, nor did he ever pressure me into anything I didn't want. He even asked for permission to kiss me on the roadside while I waited for my lift home, which ended up being our first kiss. His friend however wasn't quite as nice.
I'll set the scene.

Four 13 year old kids, myself and three other 'friends', unsupervised in a house. Two of my 'friends' that made up a couple where upstairs, doing what one could only be as blunt as saying 'underage activities', and my aforementioned sweet boyfriend had gone home for the day. I was left downstairs, alone, with a boy I'd briefly called my boyfriend, although nothing more than holding hands and a valentines card had ever been exchanged between us during out period of 'dating'.

He was also my boyfriends best friend.

Within the time period we were left alone, I was pressured to perform sexual activities on this 'best friend' of my boyfriend after explicitly saying no, explaining that I was with somebody else, telling him I did not want to do anything with him, activities I did not want to take part in with him, activities that I didn't understand. I was pressured to comply, or else my boyfriend would be made aware of what had happened. I was held beneath him, trapped by him and stuck in what I can only describe as one of the most horrifying experiences of my life, an experience that has stayed embedded in my memory ever since.

I, of course, being the honest and truthful girlfriend that I was, told these other friends and that sweet, considerate and appreciative boyfriend what had happened. The result?
  • I'd cheated on my boyfriend with his best friend.
  • I'd been a slut.
  • I had thrown myself at this 'friend' and then tried to lie and shift blame.
  • I should have stopped him.

I was branded a liar, a cheat, and easy.
I never told anyone else about the experience.
Not my parents, not other friends, nobody.
Until today.

What I didn't understand all those years ago is that I was a victim. Only now though can I see this more clearly than ever, and it's all thanks to young adult contemporary novels. I only wish I meant that more positively..

Love Bomb by Jenny McLachlan is one of these young adult contemporary novels featuring similar experiences to what I had endured, and I talked briefly about it in my review, but I want to talk about it more, because it seriously needs to be highlighted. One of the scenes involves the main character and her 'love interest' heading into a bedroom, a room that the main character is shown to be uncomfortable being in, and then later, encouraged to sit on his bed. This could quite easily be a show of nerves, but later actions, taking kissing and touching too far, affecting her confidence and comfort, actions that, as is stated during the writing, the main character doesn't want happening to her, are shrugged off as being a learning curve of the teenage years. Not only that, but the main character is made to feel as though the experience was her fault, that she'd done wrong, that she'd disappointed said 'love interest', implying that she should have been more open about the experience, and never actually speaks to anyone about the whole experience. The 'love interest' in question is never punished for his actions.

We Are All Made of Molecules by Susin Nielsen also touches upon similar experiences, although these are taken into a much harsher light and are, in some ways, taken note of a explored in more depth, but are not anywhere near sorted or closed cases. The main female character is first told that her 'boyfriends' parents will be in when plans are made to meet at 'love interest' house, and then later told upon arrival that they are not there, which later turns in 'love interest' encouraging alcohol toward female main character and trying to encourage her to embark in activities she makes clear she doesn't wish to be involved in. Words such as 'no' and 'stop' are used frequently, and female character later questions whether 'love interest' apology was for the actions, or that he couldn't continue with them. Later, said female main character is plied with more alcohol at a party with 'love interest' who has already proven his asshole-ness around her, and is taken into bed with not one, but TWO males who are clearly nowhere near as intoxicated as the main character and proceed to determine whether she is suitably aware of her surroundings enough to take part in any sexual activities with her. When it becomes clear that she is not, they proceed to attempt to undress her, take photographic evidence and then leave her unattended, vulnerable and almost unconscious. The female main character does, eventually speak to people about the experience, and while legal proceedings almost take place, lack of evidence proves to be a standing factor and the accusations are dropped. Public people of power, both in a school and legal environment are made aware of these actions, yet the 'love interest' is never punished for his actions, despite witness accounts.

These moments and scenes taken out of the novels in questions speak volumes when pinpointed and separated from the rest of the novel in question, and yet, when left among the rest of it's novel, are easily dismissed as a plot device, or as a way for a character to develop, or for a relationship not to occur, rather than be delved into in a much deeper, much more important manner. Jamie previously asked whether it's the authors responsibility to make sure that important topics are given the right message in fiction, and in this case, I say yes. Yes it is.

You can not feature rape or sexual assault in young adult novels and not make clear that these actions are wrong and illegal. You can not bring up these moments and not make clear that it's not just a part of growing up and learning more about yourself. You can not and should not shrug of these types of abuse because they are so so wrong, and by doing so, you're creating the wrong impression of the subject, and creating more victims. These 'love interests' were never punished and were allowed to be involved in the victims life with no consideration for how it might have affected them further down the line, anything from their trust and emotional levels with other people, to their confidence and comfortableness in society, to serious mental issues due to trauma of the event. You can't write about these subjects and not call it out on what it is. It's disgusting. It's shocking. It's rape..

How Do You Feel About the Use of Sexual Assault and Rape in Fiction?

30 comments:

  1. Amanda, I have goosebumps reading this. Firstly, I am glad after so many years of dealing with that trauma, that you are finally able to open up *big hugs*. These are things we don't understand when we are young, but as we grow older we are just so disgusted at that sort of behaviour. But the fact is, we didn't know any better, so I hope you don't blame yourself.

    I can't stand books that use rape as a plot device, which is why I stopped watching Game of Thrones after a certain scene in the latest season. I'm especially uncomfortable that the males are never taught that it is wrong for pressuring a young, impressionable girl and that they are never punished or realised for the consequences. Because that's what happens in everyday life, and it is much more important than that. It should be handled with care.

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    1. Thanks Jeann, that means a lot. There just needs to be more careful measures put on the fact that it's not a learning curve, it's a serious issue, and can't be glossed over you know? GoT is something I will NEVER watch, ever.

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  2. Every time I read this kind of topic in book, young adult or adult— I just can't keep reading. I get very uncomfortable around men, I can't even look at them, if one of them look at me? I can't breathe. So, reading about rape o sexual assault being romanticized sometimes, it's sick.

    As you said, it's important talk in books about this kind of things because sadly it happens. A lot of times. But I think the same as you, the authors need to take responsibility about what they are putting in their books. They need to tell their readers that it's not their fault if something like this happen to them, that no matter what people may say about them, they need to seek justice.

    Thanks for this amazing post Amanda, sorry if something is bad writing, english isn't my language.

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    1. Thanks Ella. I'm sorry you struggle yourself, it must be so difficult.. I agree though, there must be some sort of punishment, or else, who will learn the right lessons. No worries lovely, it all made sense to me :)

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  3. Oh God, I'm sorry you had to experience something as traumatizing as that, Amanda! *hugs* It's amazing how you're able to open up to us now after so many years of not talking about it. I salute you! You are amazing.

    I've always been against rape being used as a plot device, but I've actually never thought of it this way. It's definitely a horrible point to come across. What if a teenager who is feeling self-conscious and isn't confident starts seeking out a horrible experience to make him/her a better person? That's a really scary thought.

    And what if they start to believe that rape is BAD, but it's not HORRIBLE and IMMORAL? What if they experience something similar and just decide to keep quiet about it because they feel like no one's going to help them, or that this is NORMAL behavior?

    I commend books where rape is shown to be what it truly is--wrong and disgusting, like Courtney Summer's All the Rage. If it's just going to be glossed over (like in The Witch Hunter, where it was literally just mentioned and nobody gave a shit), no thanks.

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    1. Thank you Aimee. It just sort of poured out, you know? It was worth it though, to get the message out. All the Rage is a book that is hugely appealing to me because of the subject matter, it just sounds so deep and important you know? Glossing over does nothing to help the message we need to send to young people all over the world.

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  4. This is definitely a topic that I can't even write about because I can't even put my characters in those situations. I feel it too close to my heart, you know? Hugs to you. I wish I could give you one in person! <3

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    1. Thank you lovely!<3 I couldn't imagine putting my characters through something like that, ever, it'd be too hurtful..

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  5. I'm actually a little confused at the title versus the post. In my mind, character development is the change from a character throughout the book because of whatever reason. It's going from point A to Point B. Since I've never been a victim of rape, I'm trying to wrap my head around how that isn't character development. Rape changes people, there's no doubt about it. It's sick, effed up and the state it leaves people in is terrifying and heartbreaking.

    Now all that being said, I'm just curious and I hope this didn't come across as TOO IGNORANT [even though I totally am] about what you mean by character development.

    I do agree with EVERY word of the post itself, though.

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    1. Oh no Nova, don't worry, I can totally understand how the title is a little confusing in contrast to the post, I was wary whether to name it just development, plot or character you know? I think I meant it in a more, how it changes somebody into being a 'better person' if that makes sense? Like less cruel, or less silly and frilly, rather than something less life changing affecting them and making them see their wrong ways, if that makes sense? Rape seems like a strong action just to make a girl go from bullying or and cruel to suddenly all nice, you know? :)

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  6. I THINK I NEED TO HUG YOU RIGHT NOW. Gosh, you were only 13?! That's so young...I'm seriously sorry that had to happen to you and you're so incredible for being able to talk about. Seriously. Wow. Yup just going to hug you now and I can't believe humans sometimes. They're absolutely deluded and stupid.

    But yes...I've read a lot of books were harassment is part of the plot. I'm not always sure the one's I've read is for character development or not though? The only one I can specifically recall is Daughter of Smoke and Bone (or maybe its' the sequel?) where Karou is harassed and ends up killing the guy. THAT was scary. That really moved the plot forward, but I don't know that it particularly changed Karou? I can't remember. :( and Perks of Being a Wallflower of course...that developed Charlie's character. gah. THAT IS SO SAD I HATE THIS. I hate reading about harassment. It guts me because Game of Thrones is so sickeningly full of it. I wish half the guys in that series would just die...gosh, and I'm NOT a violent person. I just can't believe how disgusting it is. *shudders* I know it's historical, but still. I hate reading it.

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    1. Thanks Cait. 13 feels so long ago, it's like a whole lifetime ago, so strange to think about it again.. GoT is something I'll never watch or read, I just don't feel as though I can, you know? Ugh, it's so harsh and horrible. I'm impressed that you can still read it though, considering!<3

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  7. *hugs tightly* This post is beautiful Amanda. This rendered me speechless. Thanks a lot for sharing your experience with us luv!:)

    I personally have experience with sexual assault.Co incidentally, it's also what I talked about in my recent post over at my blog.It made a huge impact in my life. And I know exactly what you are talking about here.
    This is such a sensitive topic for me, and I feel furious when books or movies get it all wrong.
    Because they give a message to people. And they've got to make sure that the message is appropriate.

    Love you for writing this post Amanda!

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    1. Thanks Mishma! Exactly that, they need to give the right message, and it's so so important!<3

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  8. First of all bravo for sharing your experience for this important discussion, I am glad you brought it up. I think sometimes those scenes help the story along like in the Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. It was gross and disgusting but it did move the story along and was in context and made sense in the story. I think showing these things in fiction rarely, is realistic but it needs to be done with care. I just recently went on a rant myself about social issues in fiction. I read two books in a row about teenage suicide. One seemed to do it for awareness the other for shock value... so no cool... One last thing... I told a whole room of perspective foster parents today that I was in the foster care system and my sexual abuse was hidden from my social workers, I was placed back with my parents.... You make me feel so much better about sharing my story... They needed to know... But it was weird so this just made my night... thank you so much (there are tears of joy) You never know when sharing your story maybe to help someone else.

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    1. Thanks lovely, I'm pleased that this made you feel better about sharing your story, it's important that we do and learn from it, and teach others too, so I'm glad I've been able to. Honestly, thank YOU!<3

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  9. Oh my gosh, I am so sorry you had to go through that Amanda. I detest when rape is used as a plot device. I see it way too often and usually not used in a way that it should be. Wonderful discussion.

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    1. It's okay Rachel, I'm glad you liked the post, it's not right to use it too often I don't think :)

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  10. I NEED TO HUG YOU SO MUCH because no one should have to go through such a horrifying experience and be victim blamed for it too! That's just so disgusting and this says so much about the rape culture embedded in societies.

    I agree that if ever an author decides to write a sexual assault scene then it should be explicitly written as a social commentary on how wrong and violating the act is. It should never be written to further the plot or the romance AND ESPECIALLY NOT FOR SHOCK VALUE.

    I understand that a lot of authors are trying to build a "realistic" view of their cruel world (because ignoring rape completely is ignoring a huge disgusting occurrence and all the victims' voices too) and I understand that "realistically" people would be affected by rape and may or may not change their character afterwards but I think authors should be really careful on how they portray this. They should never lose sight of the fact that rape is wrong. And they should never imply that rape is necessary for characters to change in a certain way. It's not part of growing up and it doesn't need to be in every single tragic backstory. It should never sexualized or made to look "kinky". The importance of consent in sexual actions should always be emphasized to be honest.

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    1. It's okay Juwairiya, it's something that's happened and I've come through stronger with, and in the end, that matters a lot really. There are some serious messages and important things that must be mentioned throughout these scenes, or at least afterwards with the affect it has on these characters, so I'm pleased you agree.<3

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  11. I have seen similar posts crop up lately, though none quite as brave as yours - and none as personally revealing and deeply troubling. I am horrified for you - for the young you - and so, so glad you're speaking up for yourself and for others with similar experience.

    I think using rape and other forms of sexual assault as character development is a very shabby, lazy practice. Why is it that a character (especially a female character) can only get "tough" by living through an experience like that?

    I've read a couple of romances that feature a protagonist with a history of being a victim of sexual assault where the hero proceeds to "heal" her or something and I always cringe at the thought of an actual rape victim reading such shallow stuff. I've become wary of blurbs describing the main character as "traumatized" because it all too often leads to some poorly constructed path to redemption (and rape isn't the only issue dealt with in such a manner, depression and addiction are frequent plot devices, too).

    But this is by no means limited to the romance genre; I liked Maria Snyder's Shadow Study, for example, but Yelena (the main character) is a rape victim, too, and it felt like such an unnecessary addition, especially because it is dealt with in such a fast, superficial way.

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    1. Thanks Kaja, thank means a lot, honestly. I think if you're going to include it has a feature, it has to be dealt with properly and well, and not just dismissed, you know? It's a shame it is only too often..

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  12. I'm so sorry about what happened to you- it must have been very hard to write about. I read a book recently that used molestation as a joke on the premise that it was a guy being molested by girls. The whole thing is sickening.

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  13. Amanda, I can only thank you for this post. What you've been through I know I can hardly begin to comprehend. You are incredibly brave to have spoken out about this, and I wish there was only something we could do to have let you know earlier that you are not alone. I know that this post will help people going through similar situations, so again, just thanks for your bravery. *hugs*

    I agree that using rape as a 'shock factor' or to set up an 'interesting' character background is not only unacceptable, but morally wrong and sending the wrong message to readers. I hope that we can do something about this to stop it happening, and I think your post is certainly a step in the right direction. I wish you all the best, and just remember that you are part of a huge community that cares about you. Ever need anyone to talk to and we are all right here. *another hug*

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    1. I do hope that this post helps other people speak out and share, if only to help themselves, it can help and it should. Thank you though Rachel, knowing that as a community I have people I can speak to, and that we can help stop this, it's a great thing, and I only hope it does start to disappear, at least, in a pushed under the rug way at least. *hugs back*

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  14. This post! You said everything that I want to say about this and more. Thank you so much for sharing your personal story and giving me new insight.

    I absolutely hate rape/sexual assault in a book if it's just put in there for some character development or, worse, shock value. I totally agree with you and think that, by using rape/sexual assault in this way, it demeans or lessens the absolute horror of real-life situations like this. Rape or sexual assault, or even rape attempts, shouldn't be added to a story for the purpose of development. It's a very delicate subject, and while I think that some books ABOUT rape are fine, others with rape as just an "element to the story" or to character development are NOT okay.]

    Thank you, thank you, thank you, for this post!!! *hugs*

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    1. Thanks Sophia, it's great to know I'm not alone in feeling this way! Shock value is a bad thing, it's abusive in it's own way, and it's wrong. I'm glad this post was worth reading for you lovely!<3

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  15. I'm currently working on the fourth book of my fantasy series. I am torn as to whether to re-work a scene I recently wrote. Inge, directed me to this page and I've read it, and I'm still not 100% sure. It's a scene where a guy threatens to rape a dark elf girl. She gets the better of him though, and threatens to cut his balls off before kneeing him in the crotch and sending him packing. Is it too strong though? I could tone it right down to her rejecting his advances and him begrudgingly leaving. I want to portray her as someone strong-willed who you don't want to mess with though. It's very clear in this scene that it's wrong, the perpetrator doesn't succeed and he gets punished. So should it stay or go?

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    1. That's a tough one and I'm glad you've asked my opinion, thank means a lot.

      Personally, I think as long as it's really highlighted that it's wrong and that the guy in question is made aware that his actions are wrong, that he is punished, and that your MC is still emotionally affected, even in a small way by the altercation, then it should be fine, at least, for me personally. Every action in life has an affect one you, and if you were almost raped by someone, it might make you feel a little more protective over yourself, who you let in, and who you keep out, things that are said, or movements made. Keeping it real and showing that your MC can be strong is great, but don't forget she's got emotions too, and those will have been affected. Don't let the scene come and go quickly, that's all I would say.

      Best of luck in writing your scene lovely!<3

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  16. Thank you for your courageous comments.

    "Somebody being pressured into a situation they don't want to be in. Somebody being 'convinced' that what one person wants, they want too."

    It hurts my heart and makes me angry when female writers turn borderline (and sometimes over the line) abusive relationships into some swoony great romance. If it is not enthusiastic sober consent, it is problematic.

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